Heathen's Hangups

I'm back

2006-02-01T12:26:00.000-05:00

Ok so after months of being away and a ton of bitching, I’m posting. :-P For those of you that don’t know, I had the baby on November 18, 2005. He’s doing beautifully and we’re both well and healthy, Thank God! Not something I ever plan on doing again though. I told hubby I wasn’t doing anything with him until one of us was fixed. I can’t take the emotional and mental roller coaster again. I don’t think I could handle it. I can admit now I was petrified. Some illogical part of me refused to admit it, like if I didn’t say (or in this case write) the words, the fear wouldn’t have any power over me. Silly I know.

He’s a good boy and all around happy baby. My older son is thrilled with having a baby and when he thinks no one can hear him, even sings to him. It’s so sweet. He is still leery of the whole diaper changing experience but he’s learning slowly. He hasn’t had a real dirty one yet, that should be fun to watch. Yes I’m evil. I think having a baby around now is the best form of birth control I can give him right now. I’m not stupid enough to believe he’s going to wait until marriage to have sex, but I certainly can make sure he’s smart about it when he does.

I just got back from the most amazing 4 day vacation in Florida. It was great to see my friends, old and new alike. We had the most wonderful time and laughed a lot. It was nice to be able to put faces to some of the names I’ve been playing EQ2 with, and to get to know the personalities too. It was good to see my family too. There’s something soothing about us all being together. Yes we are usually going non-stop, but the all around atmosphere we create just by being together is the most peaceful experience.
I know I’m rambling so I’ll just wander off to a corner and talk to myself. Seems to work for the siding guy.

I wish you enough

2005-08-16T12:42:00.000-05:00

I got this in an e-mail and it touched me profoundly. I wanted to share with all the people I love and that love me.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

Even though there are no final good-byes in the near future that I'm aware of, I am constantly reminded that we never know for sure. I try to make it a point to tell the people that matter to me how much I love them in each conversation. I relish the hellos and cringe at the thoughts of the good-byes.

Quick update

2005-07-25T21:31:00.000-05:00

This has been a roller coaster week.

My nephew passed away last week. It wasn't exactly unexpected but still difficult all the same. At least now he's at peace and without pain. He was cremated and the memorial service is the 6th of next month. I hadn't intended to do any more traveling, but I can't just not go. The family has made provisions for us to be there so we're off to Maryland in a couple of weeks.

I took my son to Walmart the night the new Harry Potter book came out. Amazing how few people there are in that place at midnight. We ran into my regular doctor and good friend and talked for a few minutes. Standing there, talking to her, I got really dizzy and almost passed out. It was scarey. I was so nervous driving home after that. She said it was to be expected but still unnerved me. Over the last week I've had 3 more dizzy spells. I discussed it with my OB at my appt last Friday and they decided to put me on a heart monitor for the next week. How annoying. I have always had low blood pressure, nothing new there. Now it's just bottoming out and making me dizzy. There's nothing wrong with my heart. Ok well yeah, there's a tiny tiney hole in it but not big enough to have caused problems as long as I'm not clotting. I'm on shots to keep from clotting so that can't be a problem. They said they just want to err on the side of caution and make sure nothing else is going on. Meanwhile the adhesives from these stupid patches itch like hell and take a layer of skin with them every time I take them off. ARGH!

Now I'm faced with a new dilemma. I know my body well enough and have learned to listen to it carefully. I know when I'm starting to drop and find a place to sit before I get low enough to get really dizzy. But now with this monitor, I need to let myself have a full blown spell in order for them to get the test results they need to prove it's not my heart.

Ok so that's that and I'll post more after my next appt when I find out something. If not before.

Ok so what's the deal now....

2005-07-14T17:57:00.000-05:00

Let me see if I can try to catch up on all the things happening since my last blog……. Nope, can’t so I’ll just make due with what’s going on now. Baby is getting bigger and I’m feeling fat. No big surprise there. I haven’t really gained much poundage but my shape is different making me really uncomfortable at times and knowing all the while it’s just going to get worse. It’s a boy for those of you that I haven’t had a chance to talk to.

As some of you know my nephew has been very ill since birth. He was born with a heart defect and lung problems. He had his first heart valve replacement before he was 48 hours old. His immune system is basically non-existent and he has been in the hospital more than he's been home in the almost 2 years he's been with us. Now after multiple surgeries, high fevers a coma, loss of hearing and sight, major infections and difficulty regulating his body temperature the Doctors and family have come to the conclusion it is better to let him go. He will not survive another heart valve replacement surgery; yet will not survive without it. There is no need to put him or the family through the difficulty of all that. The ventilator was turned off Monday late morning. As of this moment, he is still hanging on. I have very mixed feelings about this whole thing to be honest. Part of me feels the Doctors just don’t know everything. I mean they never thought he would survive this long without the ventilator. They look at test results and CAT scans and determined he was too brain dead to learn developmentally, so then no one tried to teach him. I have to wonder if we are missing out on the potential of a beautifully gifted person by just relying on pictures and print to decide what he is capable of. Part of me feels it’s time to let him go. He has lived in pain most of his life and he will never know life without it. With the ventilator on he can’t speak, which is a moot point at the moment. I have to wonder what is going to happen now. Even though he has one collapsed lung, he continues to hold on. Above and beyond what the doctors predicted. Maybe the doctors aren’t always right. Maybe there is something else we have to learn from this little guy. Maybe he needs to teach us not to believe every doom-sayer out there, no matter how well intentioned and to try anyway. I’ve put the situation in God’s hands and pray about it daily, we’ll just have to see what his plan for this little guy is.

I had Dennis evacuees over the weekend too. It’s always soooo good to see them, I just hate it having to be in those circumstances. I was a nervous wreck waiting for the call they made it home ok. Fortunately we were able to keep in touch with most of the ones who stayed so we knew they were alright almost immediately after the storm passed. We ate out too much, ate too much bad for us food, and spent too much money. It was GREAT!! I love it when we get together.

We went to see the Fantastic Four and it was eh. The special effects were nice however not all the actors were convincing enough with them. I watched Jessica Alba using her force field and thought “Someone should have spent more time with her on the blue screen” talk about a downer. It totally took me out of the movie and shoved some of the more technical issues down my throat so forcefully, I had to actively try to get back into the story. Julian McMahon is so hot. He’s such a great psychotic genius, and totally under rated. I don’t think he reached his full potential for being just a nasty bad ass in this movie. The Dr. Von Doom character was so watered down compared to what he could have been, I was sorely disappointed. I actually tried to watch the movie from the point of someone who knew nothing about the Fantastic Four since I had already been warned it departs woefully from the comic book, but it just wasn’t enough to make me really enjoy this movie.

Ok it won’t take me 12 forevers to write again but that’s about all I have to share right now.
Peace and God Bless.

Preggie Pops are da' BOMB!!

2005-04-26T16:57:00.000-05:00

I have never been this sick this long in my life. Sure I had nausea 24/7 for all nine months my son 13 some odd years ago, but this is totally different. I’ve never had this retching, racking, quivering on the bathroom floor waiting for the world to end kind of sickness before. I am so hungry every couple of hours I just have to eat, then I just get sick and lay in bed whimpering like a scalded dog for a couple of hours until it passes and…. Oh… wow………gee…. I’m hungry again. THANK GOD! I happen to stumble across these wonderful little herbal lollypops – Preggie Pops! Ok yeah, I know the name needs some work but DAMN they have saved me several times over. I don’t know what is in them and at this point really don’t care, they work. They’re specifically for morning sickness, which is a total misnomer considering I get it all times of day, and not just in the morning. Actually evenings are usually worse for me. According to my Mommy-to-be book “morning sickness” (again I say HA!) is my body’s reaction to the increase in hormones and actually a good sign. Uh yeah. I might believe that in a couple of years, but don’t talk to me now about “good signs”. I swear I’m going to have to buy stock in Preggie Pops before all is said and done. They come in a variety of flavors, the sours are pretty good but I’m not too hip on the mints. The pharmacist said they are good for chemo patients too or anyone else that fights with nausea for whatever reason. Even after all this I think I’ll keep some in the medicine cabinet for upset tummies regardless of reason. I have half a bag in my purse and another 3 bags at home to restock. They say “morning sickness” rarely lasts longer than the first trimester so at 8 weeks I still have a little ways to go. I’m counting the days.

I’ve cut out the caffeine and am down to one cup a day, so I’ve been passing out about 10:30. I could probably go sooner but I have to give my shot at 10 and it usually takes about 30 minutes to settle again afterwards. I’ve never been one to sleep early and this is really odd for me. I guess my body really needs it though.

I’m in this Religious Traditions class in school, which I have been looking forward to since I signed up for it October of last year. Unfortunately between being sick and an early bedtime, I’m just doing the bare minimum to get by and not really able to enjoy the class. I think I’ll start spending more time on school during the weekends and less time on everything else. It just seems like there has been something to do every Saturday this month.

Well that’s about it, maybe next installment will be happier and more upbeat. I’m just in a whiney mood today. Maybe it’s the weather. It’s been cloudy and overcast for the last 2 days. I just basically wanted to let folks know that I haven't fallen off the face of the earth and I AM ok just not very nice to be around right now and totally worn out.

If you have the patience to get through this, you're a saint.

2005-04-04T10:52:00.000-05:00

This is crazy. I have too many things running through my head and not enough brain power to keep track of them all. I had a Dr appt to get the stitches out from the cyst I just had removed. I showed up at 9:10 for a 9:15 appointment and they couldn’t find me in their system. I pulled out the card and showed her I had it and was at the right time. She was very nice about it but pointed out to me I was on the wrong day. My appointment was for tomorrow. Fortunately it was just for suture removal so the doctor went ahead and took care of it and I don’t have to go back tomorrow. (fyi. I also got the report this morning the biopsy came back fine and there was nothing abnormal)

I think this play I’m involved in has a lot to do with it. It started out me being asked to design some background sets because I was in the Drama club in high school and had experience in things like that. I guess that should have been the first warning sign that the people I was working with had no clue. I told them I could do the designs but someone else was going to have to actually do the building, I just don’t have the time or energy to mess with all that. Then someone dropped out and I was asked to take a part. Ok sure, it’s what… 10 minutes on stage. Walk on, walk off, maybe 5 lines to learn total. Sure Ok I can do that. THEN the writer of the play (who is also the director and I leaned later has absolutely NO experience doing either) decided to put in a song she had previously cut for this character to sing since I was going to be doing the part. Ok….. I know “I Could Have Danced All Night” from My Fair Lady like I know “Mary Had a Little Lamb” Ok I can do that. As I wound up getting bogged deeper and deeper into this comedy of errors, my son was also being pulled in. In the mean time the Producer of the play doesn’t want to spend any money – you know, it really would have been nice if I had been told that before designing the original sets instead of having to redesign them. So, long story short (yeah I know, too late) I’m handling set designs – we’re performing on the 15th and 16th and the sets still aren’t done – co-directing (God love her, the writer tries but there are only certain scenes she has in her head, the rest she’s totally clueless about) – performing and helping my son keep the props and sound effects organized. A damn sight more than I bargained for in the first place. The local newspaper was there last Thursday night at practice, taking pictures of those of us in costume and advertising is booming. If this is a flop, not only will it reflect badly on us as individuals but also as a church.

The church is in financial straights. I don’t have the money to donate on a regular basis, so I tithe with my time and my energy and my talents. If we don’t find ways to pull the church out of its hole (like with this dinner theater) they will have to close their doors within 6 months. I just can’t stand that idea. We have too many friends and people we are close to within this church to let it fall without a fight and the closest church to us for our denomination is 30 to 45 minutes away. The building is relatively new, the contractor got all his money for building it upfront however did not pass that on to the sub-contractors. The sub-contractors want their money and we have been faced with lawsuit after lawsuit over it all. The contractor has skipped town, and we are trying to find him to bring a lawsuit against him but it’s been difficult. Legally the sub-contractors can hold us responsible for their money even though we did not hire them directly and we already paid the contractor. Funny the things you learn are possible after the fact. I figured we paid so we’re in the clear, nope. This is one of those cases of the legal system working totally against the victim. Lesson Learned – Any contract with a Building Contractor involving the use of sub-contractors should clearly state (no less than twice using different words) that the Contractor is legally liable for making sure the any sub-contractors hired, are paid.

Topic change: My supervisor at work is being offered a new job with a different company in a nearby city. There are 6 positions open with this company and she has made it very clear she wants to take me with her. I’ve been doing some research on this other company and they seem very financially stable. They just acquired two companies through buy outs and mergers which is why there are so many positions open at the moment. It’s really going to depend on what the position is, what compensation plan they have and how good their tuition reimbursement is. If I can get in with a company with REAL good tuition reimbursement then I can finish out my AA, get my Bachelor’s in Business Administration and go on to get my Master’s in Psychology and Counseling and do what I really want. The school I am attending does not have a specific Bachelor’s program for Psychology so they will accept any Bachelor degree for the Master’s program. I know I can’t do anything with Psychology without at least a Master’s anyway, and if I get my Bachelor’s in a department the company feels is “advantageous to my job and the company” then they will help pay for it all for me to step on up to the Master’s program. I know I will have to get loans for the Master’s program since it is totally out of the realm of business, but that will be ok if I can get tuition assistance through my job – better than what I’m getting now which barely pays for 2 classes per year – then I will be able to look at getting the loans for my Master’s without freaking over owing several thousand in loans when I graduate. BUT! Do I really want to work in another town with as funky as the roads around here get in bad weather? Do I want to deal with the 30 to 45 minute commute? My nerves don’t handle driving in big cities well so the whole idea there is jut intimidating. And do I really want to keep working with the same supervisor I have now? Is this really something I want to consider? I know a proposal is coming my way, I just don’t have any idea how I feel about it. Yeah, I would love to get out of the company I’m with currently, but …….. there are just so many buts.

Speaking of school, this current class is just a pain and I would rather not have taken it at all. Maybe it’s the material which is incredibly dull, or my class mates who are all in management positions and talk down to me because I’m not, or maybe it’s just me. I don’t know. The one thing I DO know is I’ll be lucky to pass with a C. I’ve missed two deadlines for assignments thinking they were due on Wednesday (like every other class I’ve ever had) and they were really due on Monday (which is a total crock and not really enough time to finish out one week on Wednesday and have another full week’s worth of work done by Monday. We’re given a whole week for a reason, let us use it!) It would be different if he would go ahead and give us our next week’s assignment on Monday so we can start working on it then, but nooooo…. He waits until Wednesday when the week is “officially” over to give us the new assignment. I just can’t get into this class at all and at this point (week 4 of 5) I really just don’t care. I just want it over.

I’m just overwhelmed right now. My Doctor has threatened me with hospitalization if I let myself get this run down and overstressed again. ( I think it's the only threat she could think of considering how much I dispise hospitals) She put me on a second antidepressant, a new sleeping pill and more stomach meds to help cope for what the stress is doing to my body right now. My blood levels are out of whack, my stomach is in upset overdrive and I haven't been sleeping well. My only real release is the time I have with my friends and family away from it all, that’s just hard to schedule since my own schedule is so crazy and I can’t seem to get time estimates right. I love my friends. They’ve been really great dealing with me being so scattered and out of sorts. They try to keep me focused and on topic when we are talking, which I know is a challenge and help take my mind off everything else. Two weeks. I just have two weeks and then the play is done and this class is over. Maybe then I won’t be driving down the road and suddenly look up with no idea of where I am or where I’m going (this has happened twice in the last month). Well enough for now I have to go find my cell phone. I either left it at home, at the Doctor’s office or in my car, although I'm pretty sure it made it out of the house. If you stayed long enough through this mess to get to this part, thanks!

Remember when.....

2005-03-15T15:03:00.000-05:00

I got this in an e-mail and just had to share it.

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the
1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned
HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!
And YOU are one of them! CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good and while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!

Amazing

2005-03-07T12:04:00.000-05:00

Wow, I had the most amazing experience yesterday and I just have to share. There is a traveling exhibit of the history of the bible called “Ink and Blood” (http://www.inkandblood.com ) At first I was hesitant, yeah yeah I know the history of the bible, what are they going to show me new and exciting. Then I checked it out more... Dead Sea Scrolls – ok now you have my attention. I have to say this was one of the most fascinating history lessons I’ve had in a long time. It started with the history of writing, pictographs becoming characters becoming text. Then went on to show ancient tablets and the pictorial writing on them. One of the most amazing pieces (for me) was a small clear box protecting an actual papyrus with hieroglyphs that are a piece of the Book of the Dead that was over 5000 years old. Ok Wow. I can see the tablets and stone etchings surviving that long but this was a scrap (no bigger than a postage stamp) of some of the most fragile material I’ve ever seen and not only has it survived that long but you can still read it clearly. Ok you can still clearly see the hieroglyphs, whether you can read it or not depends on your language skills.

I didn’t really expect to see a Dead Sea scroll but maybe a replication of one. What I got was totally off base from what I expected. They had actual fragments from the Dead Sea Scrolls. All you could see was the shape of the fragment since it was intentionally shadowed so the light would not damage the fragment further. There were HUGE pictures next to each display showing what was written on the scroll and the book, chapter and verse where the fragment fits into the big picture. Wow, ok now I’m impressed. What they found in the caves when the Dead Sea Scrolls were discovered, were thousands of fragments they are working to put back together in a giant jig saw puzzle even still today, and more scientists are still searching for the rest of the documents, or pieces of them.

Then the exhibit went on to tell the story of the trials and tribulations of getting a Bible into the hands of the general public. I never knew it was actually illegal to own a Bible in English for many many years and entire families were put to death if one was found in a house. It took 9 months to scribe one book and the cost was about $200 an hour. Boy, am I in the wrong business! Then the introduction of the printing press changed everything. It was easier to manufacture books and the cost was more affordable providing even the poorest houses with the opportunity for education and literacy. So many people, so many families killed or destroyed because they wanted to share something with those less fortunate. Yes much of it was done in the name of religion but a lot was done in the name of history too. This was such a gentle mix of the two. I didn’t come out feeling like you had been pounded with the Gospel of John, or that I was going to go to hell if I didn’t change my ways, but I came out feeling educated and enriched. Even today in some countries it is illegal to own a Bible. They told us about a man in China who was caught with 50 Bibles in the trunk of his car (Chinese translations of course) and was given 10 years in jail for it under the charges Possession with the intent to distribute. Like we’re talking heroin here??

Anyone who knows me, knows I am a religious person. But in all honesty the historical facts of this exhibit were much more valuable to me than the religious ones. I left feeling very fortunate to live in a country today where we are not persecuted for our religious beliefs or for what we read. Whatever problems this country has (and yes there are many), at least that is NOT one we have to worry about.

About me

2005-03-02T13:17:00.000-05:00

Thank you Phred 319 for sharing this.

IF YOU COULD BUILD A SECOND HOUSE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE? That would be assuming I had built a first house or that I owned a house, I think I would try to get it right the first time and be just where I want to be when I do have a house of my own.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE TYPE OF CLOTHING? Leggings and the biggest shirt I can find, usually one of my husband’s 5x’s

THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT? The Phantom of the Opera soundtrack from the movie

WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? When I’m not sleeping anymore. My schedule is so chaotic there is no one set time.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE? Bread maker

IF YOU COULD PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Guitar or piano… but I would love to play the drums… this is a hard one

FAVORITE COLOR? Purple

WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SPORTS CAR OR SUV? SUV – Sports car, I have a need for speed.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTERLIFE? Yes and please God let it be better than this one.

FAVORITE CHILDREN'S BOOK? A Wrinkle in Time

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? Winter, even though it wreaks havoc with my muscles and joints.

IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Flight, no doubt.

IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT? A wreath around my belly button.

CAN YOU JUGGLE? Hell no, not only am I not that coordinated but 9 times out of 10 my hands don’t work the way I want them to anyway, without trying to do anything complicated with them.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE DAY? I have two. August 13th which is my son’s birthday after an extremely long and drawn out struggle to keep he and I both alive through the pregnancy, and March 14th the day I survived a stroke.

WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? A back-up singer

WHAT'S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR? A spare tire and a blanket

WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SUSHI OR HAMBURGER? Depends on my mood. Usually sushi but sometimes I just want a hunk of red meat.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER? Iris

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MEAL? Anything served with friends or family.

WHEN IS YOUR BIRTHDAY? Nov 18th

WHAT IS THE BEST PLACE YOU HAVE EVER BEEN ON VACATION? Canada the summer after my senior year of high school. Actually the whole vacation was great. We traveled from Florida to Canada and saw a lot of interesting museums and tourist spots but the science museum in Ontario was the greatest!

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS YEAR? Surviving it

WHAT IS ONE THING THAT MOST PEOPLE PROBABLY DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU? I’m claustrophobic and arachnophobic

Word to the Wise

2005-02-14T17:35:00.000-05:00

I cannot claim credit for this hysterical insight into how to deal with women during "that time of the month", I received this in an e-mail and wanted to share. I have no clue who the original author was but he or she deserves major kudos.

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend or significant other!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Have some more chocolate.

13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff

And my favorite one...
13. Potential Murder Suspect

And remember: Money talks .... but chocolate sings!

... and the winner writes history

2005-01-20T18:47:00.000-05:00

Ya’ know, I am constantly amazed at the sheer stupidity we as human beings exhibit on a regular basis. This entire hubbub about Prince Harry wearing a swastika has totally got me baffled. First off, it was a costume! Would there have been such an outcry if it were Justin Williams? Who is Justin Williams you ask? Exactly my point.
Costumes are meant to be fantastical and horrifying. They aren’t real. Last I checked my son wasn’t a Buddhist monk or his best friend the killer from Scream. Nor do they want to be, although those were their costumes last Halloween. That’s the whole point of a costume, to dress up like someone or something you aren’t. Personally, I find a Nazi uniform scarier than the killer from Scream, but I bet there wouldn’t have been a word said if Prince Harry had used that or Freddy Kruger as a costume instead. Is the difference because those are fictious characters and the Nazi party was real at one point? Maybe.
Now extremists in Europe are using this incident to try to ban all Nazi symbols. Ok, I don’t see the connection here. Prince Harry wore a costume so let’s ban it. Give me a break! What is the real point of a ban on Nazi symbols anyway? I understand that the winner writes history, but you can’t pretend World War II didn’t happen. As horrible as the actions of the Nazi party were, we can not ignore them. Irradiating any indication that the Nazi party was ever in existence is insulting (in my opinion) to the people who died in World War II, the Holocaust survivors and their families. It’s almost like saying nothing ever happened. It’s like saying there were no bad guys who terrorized and victimized several societies for some “holier than thou” purpose. Yes there are some idiots out there that carry the swastika like a badge of honor and they are some really sick fucks. But the symbol itself is a part of history. It’s a reminder of how horrible we are capable of being to each other and how low we are capable (as a race) of sinking. It’s a reminder to never let anything like that happen again. If we try to forget it ever happened, there is a chance it could happen again because we didn’t learn from our mistakes (by letting it happen in the first place) and tried to forget or hide from them. Instead, why don’t we honor those who were courageous enough to stand up to the evil that was the Nazi party and show them the respect they deserve.
There's another old saying, "History repeats itself". Dear God I hope we are smart enough not to let it happen and to learn from our own past.

Who am I and why the hell do you care?

2005-01-10T04:41:00.000-05:00

OK first things first. Who am I? Well I'm Heather, a wife, mother, daughter, student, teacher, friend, employee and all around busy person. I have one of those lives that there's always something going on in. Why do you care? You probably don't. I don't know that anyone outside my group of friends and family will ever read this. If you don't fit in one of those two categories, Welcome to my world!
You'll find my world to be funny and heartbreaking, frivilous and thoughtful, and sometimes even spastic. I do my level best to keep a sense of humour in everything so if you find yourself chuckling while reading any of my posts, I'll count that as a job well done.
This weekend I spent in beta testing with a wonderful new game I got for Christmas, Guild Wars. With any new game there are going to be glitches, even more so while it is still in beta but if the glitches (at least the major ones) get worked out BEFORE release (unlike some other games I could mention) it's going to be a BLAST. Its one of the latest in the scheme of Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games (or MMORPG for those of you who are famililar with the term). Unfortunately they only have beta testing once a month for one weekend. Needless to say I've not gotten much sleep. I can function periodically without it but too many weekends like this in a row and I would be in trouble. I was in game right up until they kicked us out at 3 am EST Monday morning, I think I'm going to have trouble at work on Monday but it was worth it. The programers had fun with us for the last 10 minutes or so making our characters dance, jump, bow, shrink, grow, ponder, wave and several other movements I wasn't quite sure what they were. I don't know if it was sleep deprivation or just the silliness of it all that had me laughing out loud at this large group of cartoon characters moving in unison on my computer screen without me doing a thing. Too funny! I would include some screenshots of the fun but I'm not quite sure how to do that yet. Thank you Phreddy and John for giving me this game for Christmas. I can't wait for it to go live.